tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47436575186051426412024-03-12T20:53:23.457-07:00Angelina's futterwacken Lifeangelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-80987862599312536022013-11-08T18:09:00.000-08:002013-11-08T18:09:13.794-08:00oh the lifefate or destiny or just plain right place right time?? I guess its what you believe in. sometimes you can look at things and think holy crap that has to mean something.
someone I thought would never go back to my home town has. A month before I am suppose to go home. Its like the weirdest thing In the world. I feel like I have gone back in time 5 years. to that insecure girls who would let people push her around. I fell right back into it like alice falling down the rabbit whole. and as quick as it started it stopped. maybe not stopped all together but defintally haulted for the moment. which I think is a good thing. It gave me a minute to clear my head and realize I turned right back into that girl and how much I have changed since then. It also made me realize how much I have not changed.
At one point my life was consumed by this man. I literally stopped breathing if he had told me to. I was so in love and entranced by him. then he broke my heart my world shattered and I broke. and I know that people always say that when they break up but I was broken. I didnt know how to put myself together. I had nightmares would cry on end and even get to the point where I just wanted to leave everything. A year and a half after that I went to counseling and realized that I had now had extreme trust and anxiety issues and even worse self esteem. almost 4 years after that I have grown but parts of me are still messed up. I still have hard time trusting and anxiety. I don't know if it will ever go away but i felt like I could do that.
the minute he asked to be my friend on facebook my heart dropped. I dressed better even thought were miles apart I stood taller. and for what does it matter??? Im married and have 3 wonderful children and I don't think i could ever let myself go back to him. he cant take care of me and I could never trust him ever again. Maybe I was doing it to show him i am still amazing and he lost a great thing who knows. all I know it going back home is going to be tricky!angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-63294086310065119622013-10-24T19:58:00.005-07:002013-10-24T19:58:56.184-07:00legacyI want to leave a legacy in case anything happens to me. but what do I have that is a legacy? i didn't finish school i don't have any amazing job or anything. But you know what I do have? I have strength. I have a 4 year old autistic son whom I love so much but it is so hard everyday for him and for me. I have to have the strength to know that I can be there for him every step of his life. teaching him that I can love him and cuddle him when appropriate and also teach him that he has to stand on his own to feet. I have to figure out when I should let him be with "normal" people and when to put him with people who can help him when he needs it. These things are so hard that I stress over whats best for my son.
on top of that I have two wonderful 19 month old girls who are very normal. I have to be a completly diffrent mother to them. I have to be not a special needs mom but a regular mom and that to is really hard. I am so use to being the special mom I feel i am hindering them from the proper development. So I feel like I have to start all over again. I feel like i need to read one of those parenting books cause I have no clue. and no one is going to come to do session with them once a day and help them with there stuff. what if I fail what if they aren't smart and don't learn things because I have no Idea what I am doing. what legacy will i have for them then. I want More than anything in this world is to know that I have had the strength and I have raised smart strong children. can I do that?? i guess online time will tell but I need to be raw about this. these fears and worries are a lot for me to put out there. I wonder if anyone reads this blog I wonder if anyone will know the things I go threw. At least I know. at least I have said something somewhere. angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-11749451814071414052013-07-04T06:47:00.001-07:002013-07-04T06:47:29.628-07:00AggravatedI'm trying not to be mad or envious but it's really hard. I'm sitting in Virginia potty training, getting Isaac to drink out of real cup, got the girls walking in shoes, and still working out and cleaning the house. As I'm doing all the responsible things Michael is in Arizona sleeping in eating food you can only get in az going to Vegas drinking going swimming being our age with no responsibility. When I go home I have to have all the kids with me I don't get to do all the awesome things he does. Why do I always have to be the responsible one? Why do I Never get to be my own age. I'm never gonna get to go anywhere without kids. I'm just so angry. I am taking advantage of and I'm always the selfless one. I wish I could just once be self. I guess not for another 17years right ;(angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-12282825871120966892013-06-27T06:31:00.001-07:002013-06-27T06:31:12.389-07:00A novelWhy can't my life be a novel were someone comes and sweeps you away and they are super rich. Lol I love to read!! I love putting my self in a different world if not for a few days its like a vacation! I have been reading a lot of love novels. Bared to you series and fifty shades of grey. I need a new story something to really get me going!! Inspire meangelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-8814206585622931752013-06-26T06:07:00.001-07:002013-06-26T06:07:38.033-07:00WhyYour tan dicky pants. A black shirt with black shoes. Soft hands and just tall enough for me to fit right under your chin when I hug you. I dreamt about you again last night. It happens more and more these day. I don't know why I cant stop. I don't know why after all this time I'm still thinking about you. Why I still want to know you. You chose someone else. I chose someone new and for some reason I feel like I am still connected to you in some way. Could it have been<div> that love. The love that distroyed me. The love that took my breath away?? It's been such a long time. Your probably not even the same person. I can't say that I don't love to see you there in my dreams but it makes my heart ache that much more. I just wish I knew... Do u think about me?</div><div><br></div><div><div><br></div></div>angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-75450807029040398852013-05-20T20:13:00.002-07:002013-05-20T20:13:47.557-07:00Spring Cleaningits the time of the year. the time when you clean out your house get rid of all the non useful crap you have collected and spray,wash,bleach, vacuum everything from top to bottom. normally I wouldn't do this I have never set one day aside to just clean like that but I am realized Isaac has ants in his room which means he is probably getting bit by them and i cant have that. Its funny how when you notice ants you also notice all the crap on your floor. But that's what happens when you have 3 kids. like I said normally I am not the spring clean person but i am actually excited about the clean. I would like to have clean carpets and a spotless kitchen to work in. such boring stuff for a 24 year old. I should be out partying or going to school or being in the military instead I am being a stay at home mom. Now that wasn't always my dream. I remember the first time i actually wanted to do something it was being a teacher. My first teacher I grew fond of was Mr.Fell. He reminded me of Steve from blues clues lol. He was the first male teacher I had but he was so happy all the time he was funny and nice. He was also the one who got me into sign language. he taught me the ABC's after I graduated his class I would go back and teach his class from time to time. the next teach I had the would be one of the most beneficial person in my life was Mr. Gilpin. He was my 7th grade history teach and an amazing one at that. He made learn to interesting and was so active with the class I remember ever Friday after class he would say "no alcohol no drugs but rock and rolls ok." I use to grade his papers for him and on occasionally he would let me teach his class and this was a little hard then Mr. Fell I had to watch him teach it first,memorize the lesson and then grade the papers. I set the bar pretty high for teachers pet. I know alot of kids wanted to do that after i started doing it. But what made him stand out for me was he wasn't just my teacher he was my friend. I became his babysitter and When I needed help from another student or a terrible teacher that hated me he was always there to help. i was so sad when he moved away from Arizona. After him there was Mrs.Downing,mrs.bryce (aka MOM) and many other who I became close to. I changed my thoughts of being a teacher when I joined the JRROTC. I would always want to teach but I also wanted to serve my country I loved having to have make sure I was always good mannered that i have a clean uniform and the clubs I was in the precision and the feeling of being part of something more. That was actually thee most fun I had in high school when I went. I met 2 of the men that I loved threw that club.One that i married and then that's when i decided that i would be a housewife first and one day finish school and go to college. that was 6 years ago. and I know once all the kiddos go to school I will finish what I started and I will become a teacher. and make the teachers who believed in me proud.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0HyuZvLo9CPa5QUct_7FE3I2I6uwgFTldtUZyxWsDpZFNK1uHhlbMC-0ssJjXd5eqL5XcwDINz7-y4kmfmzpFJYmwCLPxHW_rFGRg8PmvCIkTngI6tUjjGqugDr0N2qdezHn3DbUagwiL/s1600/185901_3375836045310_543752341_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0HyuZvLo9CPa5QUct_7FE3I2I6uwgFTldtUZyxWsDpZFNK1uHhlbMC-0ssJjXd5eqL5XcwDINz7-y4kmfmzpFJYmwCLPxHW_rFGRg8PmvCIkTngI6tUjjGqugDr0N2qdezHn3DbUagwiL/s320/185901_3375836045310_543752341_n.jpg" /></a>angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-23177018289584041682013-05-18T20:07:00.001-07:002013-05-18T20:07:09.875-07:00Jar of Hearts flowers. one of the many things I love about this earth. I don't know if anyone ever noticed how much I love nature. Most of my photography is nature. I love to smell the outdoors the look of the green leaves on the brown hard bark. such contrast. I remember when I was a child I absolutely loved going to the river. I would sit and just stare as the water flowed wondering how this water just went on and on.its a blessing in reality I see the things not everyone takes the time to see in the busy lives. I make sure I take at least 10min out of my day to just look outside or to take in a deep breath of the air. I hope to one day be able to see other parts of the world that are beautiful... there I went on a tangent of nature when I meant to tell you that I got flowers today from Michael. probably one of the sweetest things he does for me. I remember when I was 18 telling people that I wanted fake flowers because " they lasted longer". I said that because the man I loved never got me flowers and when he did they were wooded and I thought it was so sweet but the best thing is the smell. you cant get that in fake flowers. that is why I love Michael he try so hard to make me soo happy and it works I love looking at those and know he does it out of love. I love this man I married.
the man I was in love with back then was the most important person in my life. he was by far the greatest love of my life back then and even now he will always have a part of my heart. But I guess that's what happens when you marry someone they leave there mark even when they leave you. Its no shock that he left only 9 months after we got married. I thought my life was so great then. I love that we had dogs and cats and a beautiful ALWAYS clean home. i was an amazing wife always making sure he had food and his clothes were clean. we use to go to a laundry mat and had fun. so when i found out that he was texting a 14 year old girl I thought "what am I doing wrong" we never fought I thought we were happy. after telling him to stop texting her and then going to see my sister because she was having her baby he asked me for a divorce. he couldn't even do it to my face he just kept saying i don't love you i don't love you. such a swift change in 2 weeks. I went thru a long time of trying to figure out what happened. why did he choose her over me?? what did she have that i didn't? and after 5 year still wondering I am no longer bitter or angry. i think it will always be a puzzle I cant solve but If i let myself stay in that place where I wonder i wont more forward and I deserve to be happy. He should be happy. I guess by telling you this Im saying life doesn't alway stay the way you plan. people change you life changes you can't dwell on the past because there is still sooo much life to be lived. and who know there might be something so much better out there for you. Look at me I am married to the most amazing man. and I have you beautiful children to make me so happy. And you may have never happened if I didn't go thru the things that I went thru. I know that it might hurt at the moment and for days and for months and years but one day it won't hurt anymore. and just because it doesn't hurt doesn't mean all your feeling will go away there will always be a part of you that will be fond or care for that person and you know what that's ok. you hearts are big enough to love everyone. your just have to accept it and LIVE LIFE!
angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-74452181017279542582013-05-17T20:00:00.001-07:002013-05-17T20:00:51.510-07:00"The Vow"so I just got done watching the movie "the vow" its about this couple that get into a car accident and the women forget her husband completely even her whole life. It made me that what if something like that happens to me what If I die or forget my memories or something horrific. My child will have nothing to remember me. they will never remember my voice or know how much I absolutely love them. It breaks my heart even thinking about it. I don't like to think of death.. the thought that one day i will not be here and not knowing how it will happen scares me to my core. I want to live a full life I want to die of old age i want my kids to out live me I don't want to know how it feels not to have them in my life. But in reality you never know how life will turn out you just have to live life one day at a time because you never know what could happen the next minute the next hour the next day the next year.if you sat and just comtuplated that you would go crazy. So i think I really need to start to write more. i need to make sure that IF something does happen to me my kids will be able to know who I am and what I have gone threw in life. And even my family because If they feel like i feel this will bring them comfort. but where to start my childhood,my adult life or right here right now. I guess all children want to hear about there parents childhood right.
some of my first memories of my life are with my siblings. I remember my older brother and sister pushing me and my brother Jeremy to pick fights with each other at the time I thought I had to because my sister told me to I really looked up to her. i did whatever she wanted. although Im sure she has a handful of times that I didn't. we are 8 years apart my sister and I and I remember growing up and how huge that gap was. she never wanted to be around me I was the little sister that wanted to take all her fun away. I can't blame her though. My parent depended on her to always take care of us and when she finally got some time away for herself I wanted to tag along. and I was honestly because I loved her so much and wanted to be her so much that I had to spend ever waking moment with her. even now As i sit here I still look up to her more then ever. She is the person I go to for everything she is the one i look for advice to vent to laugh. being away from her is like being away from a part of my heart.and she never stops looking after me. she always just wants me to be happy. who could honestly ask for a more amazing sister.
well thats all i have for tonight i hope to right again soonangelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-5379204100008132822012-06-28T16:47:00.001-07:002012-06-28T16:47:56.813-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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who knew that life could be such a blessing! I was really scared when my mother left to go back home. I didn't know if I could do it on my own. I was worried I would lose my mind but when that day came and I was all by myself I just took a breath got out of bed and went head first into my new life. And I was a rockstar! =)It came so easy and I didn't even freak out once. They are not almost 4 months and I am still taking my role as SAHM in strides. I do still have days when I need to just sit in my bedroom and breath but I mean what mother doesnt! My life is so blessed!
Isaac was dignosed offically with Autistic disorder. I guess I always knew but up until we went to the doctor a small part of me hoped he was just a little behind. So when I found out offically it was like it hit me all over again. My son is special. He is bright and loving and such an amazing little boy. somtimes you cant even notice that there is somthing off about him. I hope that in the future I can learn as well to talk this new part of my life in stride but for now I am completely overwhelmed with trying to get him all the help he needs.
The girls are doing amazing they giggle and move around all the time. Gabriella got her first tooth already and she is so young. I am very blessed to have children that teeth so well lol.angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-15376776350191492672012-05-11T18:07:00.000-07:002012-05-11T18:07:41.480-07:00Updating my life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I now have 2 beautiful little girls named Isabella and Gabriella. These past 2 months have been such a roller coaster! I had my mother out here for the first month it was such a blessing. She helped me get organized in my house and helped me with everything. I really wish I would have had my sister out here as well I miss her so much and it hurts my heart to know that She will not to see my girls till they are almost 9 months and I hate that. I want to be near her all the time.
anyways After my mother left I was so terrifed I was not going to be able to do it. I worried I would break but I really just took it in stride. I got back in my grove and I have been so blessed. The girls sleep and eat wonderfully and they are so cute each with the own personality. My biggest challenge is trying to find the time to spen with Isaac. He loves the girls but is taking his jealousness out on me and he's father. It hurts sometimes cause I know that he is really just trying to tell me he wants me all to himself and the girls take up all of my time. I hope that once they become less dependent on me that I can find more time to spend with him. i love him so Much.angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-18254506746907789272011-11-22T06:30:00.000-08:002011-11-22T06:37:35.543-08:0021 weeks...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicbL90QwMAEBEKuYhbRyy0AjvASXJwMhitQr1aKj9ynFPf0n_nJ3vPYlusVO7QkoijnFpf_7CmKnCwkJmEYdREh0tyCAd3CPSrfR3Wn4ub0zbu6zFtm-YM1WUQuOvKjNSH1e5WRTr1c9cR/s1600/624.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicbL90QwMAEBEKuYhbRyy0AjvASXJwMhitQr1aKj9ynFPf0n_nJ3vPYlusVO7QkoijnFpf_7CmKnCwkJmEYdREh0tyCAd3CPSrfR3Wn4ub0zbu6zFtm-YM1WUQuOvKjNSH1e5WRTr1c9cR/s320/624.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677829109085820002" /></a><br />21 one week pregnant with twin girls is nothing like 21 weeks pregnant with 1 boy. I know people say all the time "every pregnancy is diffrent" but I never imagined this diffrent. I have the start of carpul tunnel, I cant sleep, and my feet are starting to swell. My body Honestly looks like Im ready to pop with one baby. it really scares me to try and think what I will look like when im 30 or 35 weeks pregnant!but Im so blessed to have this experiance that not so many people get! <br />angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-24365886366067905472011-09-15T13:23:00.000-07:002012-05-11T18:07:42.728-07:00oh how life can change in a instant!So here I am reading my last blog and OH my I was so wrong. As most of you know shortly after I wrote that blog Me and Michael did concieve a child...well Make that 2 child. yes ladies and gentalmen I am pregnant with twins. And Now I can tell you I am so thrilled to be hav ing twins but when I found out I did cry lol. Its scary to Imagine all the things that you need for 2 children. it can be kinds of intimadating if you think about it ALL the time. I have come to just trying to Enjoy this pregnancy even though it is much harder then the last one. I am sick and tired ALOT more. But hopefully that will get better. we are due in march! I pray the lord every night that one of these wonderful babies are a girl oh PLEASEEEE be a girl. <br /><br />Isaac is now in a developmental preschool. He loves it and I love it cause its 3 hours that I get to do all the things I need to. The teacher is very nice and I feel like he is learning things already. Although I must say that it was hard the first couple days and I do still miss him during those couple hours. he is my Little man and I want to spend all the time with him I can. well that all for now i will keep you all posted.angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-66094635717382605452011-06-15T19:27:00.000-07:002011-06-15T19:43:51.008-07:00update or down date??So its been about 4 months sense my last update on here. I want to say everything is perfect but I can not. so I'm gonna go down the line and let you know how everything has played out sense march. I hope you are ready for it. <br /><br /><br />First of I have a job now. I work at Cinebistro In the peninsula town center. For all who don't know this is a movie theater/bar/pool Hall/restaurant/bowling ally. I know its alot of slashes. But this job has actually be my second favorite job (my first being Hastings). I get to see free movies all the time and I meet 2 new friends and now there like my best friends. So I am definitely happy in the work department. <br /><br />Next we have the "baby making" department. Me and Michael have been trying sense April of this year. Sense My period in April I have not had a period. I know most of you would think this is a fantastic thing cause it means I'm pregnant right?? well after 10 test at different times they have all said no. I still need to go to the doctor and get a blood test but if that is also negative then I am going to be a sad. That means that I have no ovulated in almost 3 months and that is bad for trying to make a baby. I want in my heart to be pregnant again but I feel like its not gonna happen any time soon. <br /><br />Next on the list is My dearest son Isaac. As you have know from my last post was that Isaac has not spoken well sense then nothing has changed. He still does not talk but I do know why. My son Is developmental delayed in all areas of development beside gross motor skill. hes ranging at a 12 month old child. Which is not good. we have him in a program called EPIC which brings people into the home to help him with everything that he does. He has a speech therapist that comes every other week and then a Occupational therapist that comes every week. On top of that we are trying to get him into a preschool that for kids like him and he has been going Thur evaluation s for that as well. It is all very hard to deal with by myself because Michael works alot. But we have been making progress he still does not talk. I Stress about this every night knowing that if I don't give him enough attention and work with him enough that he might be delayed even more. that is so much to put on my shoulders but has made me so much stronger. <br /><br />the last and best thing that has happened to me this year so far is that I finally got married to Michael !!! I am so happy that we are together. he is the best man I have ever met. And whats even better then this is that I am no longer married to the horrible man. I am free of him which makes my life better. thank you lord for everything you have given me and I pray that you continue to look after this family!angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-33039285144141454352011-03-19T19:29:00.001-07:002011-03-19T19:39:35.264-07:00I suck.So I am looking at all the post I have already wrte and not one thing I have done that I said I was going to do. No school, no big weight loss, no house no nothing. Instead I have lost like 5 pounds, we are moving into another apartment, and I dont have any plans to go to school cause of work and everything. The only thing I can say we are going to be doing is trying to have another baby in june. But what does that say for what I really wanted to do with my life. I wonder if I will ever be able to do something productive with my life.will I ever be proud of anything else beside being a mom. don't get me wrong that will always be the most thing I am proud of but I mean i want to say I finished high school, I went to college, I lost all the baby weight. will it ever happen?*sighs* well on a better not Isaac is a year and a half now. He is walking all the time but is still not talking. OH but he is sooo smart you can just see when he is thinking about doing something. He is always trying to do new things and learn how to do thing. He is brillants just like his daddy lol. He has his 18 month well check up appintment this wensday! I get so excited for the appointments to see how much he is growing and everything. He really is everything I will ever need. well I am off to bed. I am quite tired...crap never mind gotta stay up till 12 to pick up michael..what bull lol<br /><OBJECT id=BLOG_video-bcc44a2f5cbef0cf class=BLOG_video_class width=320 height=266 contentId="bcc44a2f5cbef0cf"></OBJECT>angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-24247166652221818092011-02-07T19:50:00.000-08:002011-02-07T20:02:26.432-08:00I need some moto...motovation<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9pBCql1OpQKBKCyBaS5AY_4RujyLKUrr1RlpfZeYYimmpAbc2OpgxJyYOdBzjJ3EuLf60NlqR-eSLNj0UV8XY368MHg5JT2OMgRqf_hTF4aXvVk4DU7i_Xsl-qwNEKzIwQwV-VDwmrbC7/s1600/163425_10150091430612094_813402093_6312205_5290227_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 256px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9pBCql1OpQKBKCyBaS5AY_4RujyLKUrr1RlpfZeYYimmpAbc2OpgxJyYOdBzjJ3EuLf60NlqR-eSLNj0UV8XY368MHg5JT2OMgRqf_hTF4aXvVk4DU7i_Xsl-qwNEKzIwQwV-VDwmrbC7/s320/163425_10150091430612094_813402093_6312205_5290227_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5571164166547455618" /></a><br />I am not gonna lie I need some kind of kick start to get me want to diet again. I was doing good for a while and then I just kinda leaped off the diet cliff into a nice ply of reeses sticks. I really know I can do it. I know the reason why I want to but all that just doesnt seem to get me going...so what will? Maybe I should get a personal trainer. The last time I had one (very cute) I worked my butt off and looked really really good. I just wish they were not so damn expensive you know lol. But Michael did get me something to try to help. I swear that man really wants me to be skinny lol. He got me Just dance to which I have to tell you is way cooler then the first one. I think the dance moves are alot harder. I guess I will try a little harder. <br /><br /><br />One another note My child is offically walking. not just steping but walking ALL the time. I am so proud and I know that everyone says its over and im gonna have to chase him but I am excited for that. I was really worried that something was wrong with him because he was not walking nor is he talking. And as a mother Im sure everyone goes threw a point where they freak out about one thing or another. But hes finally walking and he even got his first owie on his chin from falling face forward while walking. He took it like a champ and I was soo proud lol. I think I just need that little spark from him walking to not freak out from every little think he is not doing. I dont want to spend my life wondering if he is keeping up with other little ones.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />One other little thing that I am sooo happy to share is my sista sucka pants its PREGO!!! I am so freaking happy for her. I think that I wanted her to be pregnant more than she did lol. She is such and amazing momma that I knew she was ment to bring another little one in the world. I wish that I could be there with her because I failed to do some when she was pregnant with sara thanks to stupid ex bastard lol. But I will be there for the birth this time and to host her babyshower along with Isaac's 2nd birthday. I love it. congrats King family you deserve it. xoxoangelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-58990465805991647332011-01-08T18:31:00.000-08:002011-01-08T18:42:23.230-08:00new year..new meIts hard to say new me cause in a way I want the outside of me to be new but I want to keep the person inside the old me. Does that make sense? Well once again I have not wrote here for a long time and therefore you have missed alot in the life of Angelina. My son for Instance has turned one and is now taking quite a few steps. Although he has not learned to talk he is slowly mastering the walking step by step. I worry sometimes that he is not picking up stuff fast enough and there for something is wrong. But I have been reassured from many people that ALL babies learn at there own time. ......OMG its quite.... sorry for the interuption but I have a special annoucement. Tonight I have decided to take away the "paci" for good My child has been crying for a little over an hour and he has finally fell silent. SUCESS!!!I guess one thing really does come right after the other. <br /><br />So its a new year..2011... This year I have set to major resolutions for me. ! I plan on losing 50 pounds by may. That will be 10 pounds a months. I dont plan on doing this with a diet pill or any crazy diets. I am just going to make sure I eat good portions that are healthy and work out starting at 30 minutes every day to and hour a day. and so on a so forth. I hope..no I know that I can do this. Annd I am not doing this for anyone one else but me. I am tired of being out of breath when I play with my son. simple as that. the 2nd goal is to Stick to the budget that we made for ourselves to save for a house,wedding and for Isaac. This is probably going to be mroe hard then losing weight. Me and michael like spending money thats it. there is no nice way to put it. So in order to do this we both (me expecially) need to find some self control in the shopping department. <br /><br />This year I plan on updating everyone with both resolutions and with the growth of my son. I hope that I do not bore you all and maybe just maybe I can inspire someone with there life to better it. lets be thankfull for a new year.angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-63219972996172746042010-08-14T16:31:00.000-07:002010-08-14T16:38:24.731-07:00Wedding plans and weight loss..sound fun?I went to hallmark the other day and looked at annoucement and such while my child was cooed and awwed by the hallmark people. I swear my child gets stopped every where! but thats the price a pay for making a adorable baby. ANYWAYSSS As i was saying I was looking at announcements and trying to figure out what I like. I want something simple with a little splash. So i have come up with some idea and actually found 4 I like in the 5 HUGE books I looked through. I know i am picky lol. And sense Michael decided he did not care I am up to it all by myself. I also headed to davids bridal and finally saw the front of the dress I have been dying to see and of course I love it. But all this in a way makes me very sad. I hate that my family (expecially my sister) is not here to help with all the planning. It feels weird doing it all by myself. But I do have some great help from my friends down here as well as my besty amber From cali =] I just wish Everyone lived closer to me. <br /><br />In other news I need to start losing some serious weight so that I can look super hot for my wedding and trying on dress. Even though I want to lose weight (BAD) I am having a hard time getting motavated. I want to do it but the temptaions have been killing me. I think what I am going to try to do Is get a little note book and start writing down everything I eat to try and stay motavated. plus I am getting this little exercise machine from my babysitter. I think that will help to. I hope that once I get in a routine that I can focus and actually start losing weight. I am looking to lose around 40 pounds. Its not that hard right???!!!angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-63913265417908187322010-08-06T14:15:00.000-07:002010-08-06T14:53:48.077-07:00ME timeSo on wensday I had a little time to myself. I got off work and the babysitter still Had Isaac. I have never been by myself and done nothing for almost 2 years now. I always have someone with me or Isaac my little man. So Intially I called some friend but they were all busy doing there own stuff. soI dicided I would just go and get some coffee from startbucks and walk around. I did do this for a bit and wound up going to the Cinabistro which is a movie theater. And not just ANY movie theater I might say but the best one I have ever been to. the seats could fit 2 people. The service was great and it was nice to just sit there by myself and relax I laughed and it was just amazing. I love ME time!angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-84152086706049183472010-07-29T07:36:00.000-07:002010-07-29T07:46:10.422-07:00AH HELL!!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRagmALva4S1tsEiypOPilsElYj8vI3sTfMGDGMEG3oCpFfncLMqNRTr_b9n8EYlBqfh3UNonA9v9sMS0MeUXblnuGTaEVbV7-iP2SsY3_odcGznfEYQsGzYsqDzHKAhXTol-p20tt_9MW/s1600/002.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRagmALva4S1tsEiypOPilsElYj8vI3sTfMGDGMEG3oCpFfncLMqNRTr_b9n8EYlBqfh3UNonA9v9sMS0MeUXblnuGTaEVbV7-iP2SsY3_odcGznfEYQsGzYsqDzHKAhXTol-p20tt_9MW/s320/002.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499339378921348482" /></a><br />I hate my knee. it hurts and it is preventing me from doing pretty much everything. why you ask???!!! because I slipped at work and I hurt it. I had to fill out an incident report and everything. Plus I had to get xrays which apparently showed that nothing was wrong. But why would me knee hurt if there was nothing wrong with it. Michael says its probably just a bad sprang. who knows ={ I have to go back to the doctor in 4 weeks.which 2 of those I will be out of work for. What a pain in the ass right!! about the only good thing that came out of this is that I get to spend 2 wonderful weeks with my adorable son! I love spending time with him. <br /><br />In other news I just came back from my therapist appointment. I love going to these appointment to just vent and get everything I want out. But today she felt the need to talk about my ex Ryan. This subject is a very sore one. And I know you are suppose to talk about these things so that you can move on from it but it does not mean I have to like it. the whole thing just makes me want to punch things. I wish that I could just forget the whole thing you know. but it seems to follow me wherever I go!! I mean come on its been 2 years now. Does it ever end??<br /><br />On a brighter note Isaac stood up by himself for a whole 5 second. it was very exciting. I can't believe he will be 1 in just 2 months time. I cant wait for him to start walking and everything. Its gonna be fun! well I am off to sit around and do nothing...oh joyangelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-58594702052668813412010-07-24T08:37:00.000-07:002010-07-24T08:43:40.377-07:00PromotionAbout 3 days ago I am taking my break and Matt(one of the managers) tells me the top dog wants to talk to me on the phone. So i go in there and she starts telling me how great my personality and moral is and how the owners just loves me. And then proceeds to tell me I have been promoted to Hospitality manager and that I will be getting a 50 cent raise and a set schedual. I am feeling very good right now. I love that My happyness has gotten me somewhere but I am also sad that My happyness is rare that I got noticed so easly. When did people start being so mean to one another. or for that matter hating there job so much. I know that people say they work at McDonalds because its a job but I mean for 6 years??!!! then why dont you find something you love doing rather then something you hate and it reflects on other people. the job is not that hard. It fun,fast,and easy. It makes me sad that customer service has gone down so much latley.<br /><br />In Isaac news. He is doing so good with eating real foods. He loves bananas and had mac and cheese the other day. He has 2 teeth coming in as well and has a mean bit. dont stick your hand in there lol. He also is pulling up on pretty much everything he can. I believe he will start cruising soon if not walking. He is growing up so fast. I miss the times when I could just hold him. Time went to fast.But thats life right??angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-21266310978624728762010-07-15T13:19:00.000-07:002010-07-15T16:58:22.294-07:00growing like a weed.So Yesterday I feed Isaac his first little meal. I was very scared to get him started on real food because I am deathly afriad that he will choke. Even though I know CPR I am just terrified that I will freeze and be to scared to save him. But to my surprise( well I knew what would happen) he ate it like a perfect champ! He loved it and was so patient with it. I think he no longer needs baby food=[ I am so proud of him but I am also so sad that he is growing up. I wonder how this year could have gone so fast. I wanted him to stay "ity bitty" forever!!!!And to make it worse today he has been pulling himself up on everything. He is gonna start cruzing soon then walking. I cant wait but at the same time I cant imagine him doing it...He is still my little boy. <br /><br />Second thing on my excitment list. We have picked a wedding date August 18th 2011. I cant wait! Yesterday we went and bought my little wedding book and started(and finished) our wedding budget. I really never knew how much goes into a wedding and I have already had one. But a cheap one LMAO. I am hoping to go down 3 sizes before My wedding day to be able to fit in my wedding dress. Well the one I want anyway...the only t hing that Is missing is that my sister wont be here. Its times Like these I wish I were home. But I know all I have to do is call her and Ill feel better.angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-53912573675407063732010-07-12T10:19:00.000-07:002010-07-12T10:26:03.589-07:00Brave New World.So today I went and applied for a community college. I still have alot of work to do with school and everything But I am glad I actually went down there and started it. I really want to better my life. I want My children to be Proud of the mother they have. I know it sound like a cliche' but its true. I also want to actually do something that I love. A passion of mine. (which is photography). I want to be able to be independent with my life in a small way. But I am scared. I am scared I will fail..again. that I wont be able to keep up and just be letting myself and my child down. <br /><br /><br />On a brighter note. I love my new job. And I remember back in the day I would have told you I would never work at a fast food restraunt but I love working at McDonalds. I love the fast pace of it, I love the people, and most of all I love that I can be happy and myself! they love me there although sometimes I get made fun off for being to happy but It doesnt bother me. I figure there jealous cause there not happy all the time. I love the person I am when I am at work. I love to make people happy and excited to see me. I truely is a blessing!Although I hate being away from my son...I feel like I will be missing out on stuff. But I know when I come home and see him that he will smile and come to me for me to come and pick him up and it makes it so much more exciting...I love my life.angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-86393177392215962002009-10-17T16:05:00.001-07:002009-10-17T16:07:55.936-07:00Sister is downMy sister is down Here with me in virginia and I freaking love it. She has been such a help with isaac and she help clena and everything. it helps alot with having to heal from my c section. And it has been helping me relax. Its a little hard with my niece because there is no room for her to play. I feel bad to. But hopefully the sun will come out and she can go play outside. we also plan to take pictures of them in the hollween costumes. I am sooo excited. Isaac loves his aunt and i am glad that someone got to meet him when he was so little. I am truly blessedangelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-12425923055458914312009-10-13T14:21:00.000-07:002009-10-13T14:25:08.835-07:00Vaginal or c sectionover the past couple our days..maybe even a week i have been thinking about what i want to do for my next childs birth. mind you I won't be having another kid for a while, but I watch a baby story and stuff and after having a c section already i was thinking i want to have my next vaginal. I know the risk an everything but i want to be able to feel that excitement and love of pushing soemthing out of me. I also want Michael to feel like he is part of sence last time he had to sit outside and wait. But i also remember that i was in labor for 12 hours and how much (when the epidural wasnt working) pain i was in. I dont know if i could actually do it. I know i have a while to think about it but i feel like i am missing out and wanted top share my thought okay.. thanksangelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4743657518605142641.post-66740953298480202622009-10-12T16:56:00.001-07:002009-10-12T17:00:50.922-07:00ChildSo my child decided he did not want to have a good day at all. After many hours of trying to feed him change him burp him and rock him I just couldnt take it anymore so my fiance had to take him for a 30 min walk in his stroller to get him to sleep for a total of 10 mins before he had to wake up again for his next feeding :( Needless to say I had a minor breakdown but everything is ok now unfortunately my fiance has duty tomorrow but my sister will be here on wednesday YAY i get to see my neice again!!!angelina95http://www.blogger.com/profile/06125985367792577806noreply@blogger.com0